My legal assistant has the flu and will be recuperating at home for a week. No problem right—I can handle her tasks--as well as handle my own—maybe even better. Needless to say, after a day of unknowingly deleting files, jamming the main copier, and inadvertently hanging up on multiple clients because I was answering my own telephone calls…I started researching the internet on how to heal a sick legal assistant over night.

Having not been married yet, this is my attempt to analogize what it might be like to switch roles in married life. With my elderly clients, I often perceive very definitive roles. For example, I am currently helping a couple in which the husband has handled the finances and maintained the checkbook. On the other hand, the wife has been the homemaker. One might say this used to be society’s traditional couple.

Unfortunately, a prior healthy husband suffered two strokes recently. Upon visiting him at a local nursing home, I found his mind to be functioning well but that the stroke damage prevented him from most movement and speech.

Suddenly, bills needed to be paid and monies needed to be transferred. The wife was understandably overwhelmed and confused. After all, she didn’t even know where the checkbook was located. She believed legal documents existed, such as a power of attorney, but didn’t know where they were kept. Previously, all these financial affairs had been taken care of for her. Now she was forced in to a new role.

How can you prevent this situation? One couple I represent switch duties annually so that each spouse knows how to perform certain tasks. For instance, one year the husband managed the finances and the next year the wife handled them. The couple also switched who would service the automobile.

Like all advice in life, one size does not fit all. Maybe you do not like the idea of switching duties annually because you like to play to your strengths. Perhaps, you have an adult child that you could trust to step in when needed.

Whatever your particular viewpoint, the point I’m hopefully making is to PLAN for this circumstance. In other words, be proactive and not reactive. Ask yourself and your spouse the question, “Do we know enough about the other’s duties to fulfill the opposite role if ever needed?”

Please give this message some thought and take some action steps so that a plan is in place if you ever need assistance. If would suggest that you speak with an elder law attorney if you would like assistance with this long-term planning and related concerns.